Level 3 of Consciousness
In the beginning, there was attraction. Things attract each other because they like to be closer to some things than other things. This is the root of all change in the whole universe.
Sometimes like attracts like and sometimes opposite attracts opposite. When opposites attract, you’ve got a pair, a couple. That pair is now another unit and you can start the whole process over again. The pair, the new unit, can attract an opposite or a like or just drift along.
When like attracts like, it can end there, like an oxygen molecule made up of two oxygen atoms, or it can continue to attract like, like a Carbon atom. When things continue to attract like, something big gets created.
Sometimes a thing will attract just the right stuff to it that the new stuff turns into another copy of the thing. That is self-replication. Self-replication is the most powerful force in the universe. One becomes two, two become four, four become eight, and soon the universe is full of things.
Sometimes a self-replicating thing makes a copy of itself with a mistake in it. The thing with a mistake will either be better, worse, or the same at making copies of itself. If it’s better, there will soon be more copies of the new thing than the old thing in the universe.
The only way for new things to get created is by a complex series of mistakes that turn out to be better after all.
We are self-replicating things. We are the result of a billion years worth of mistakes that turned out to be better after all.
One big mistake that turned out to be better after all was that, of all the animals, we alone can communicate complicated ideas. We can tell stories. We can share recipes. We can make complicated plans. Even dolphins and whales can’t do these things, we think.
These ideas that we communicate are called memes. Memes are a kind of thing. Memes live in our minds.
Like all things, memes fit better with some things than others. Some memes naturally fit better in people’s minds. Some memes naturally fit better with other memes. When a group of memes fit well together and pull the strings of someone’s mouth and vocal cords so that they pass them on to others, a new, self-replicating thing gets created. The new thing is called a memeplex.
Self-replication is the most powerful force in the universe. One person tells two, two tell four, four tell eight, and pretty soon the whole universe is full of people sharing the memeplex.
Sometimes a self-replicating memeplex makes a mistake in copying itself. The memeplex with a mistake in it will either be better, worse, or the same at making copies of itself. If it’s better soon there will be more copies of the new memeplex than the old in the universe.
The only way for a new idea to gain acceptance is by a series of copying mistakes that turn out to be better after all.
All our belief systems, religions, and governments are the result of a series of mistakes that turned out to be better at making copies of themselves after all.
Every new idea we think of immediately becomes transformed by copying mistakes that change it into something that is better at making copies of itself after all. A key part of the idea may be sacrificed to something better for copying.
The only control we have over the spread of our ideas is in making them as resistant to copying mistakes as possible.
When we are born, our mind is courted by meme after meme after meme, all the result of thousands of years of practice at getting themselves copied into fresh new minds. This is Level 1. We have our instincts, born of millions of years of the genes our body carries striving to make copies of themselves.
Soon our minds become filled with memes and eventually we may develop a map of life that mostly makes sense. We speak a language that we believe expresses anything we want to say. We use geometric and physical concepts that we believe explain anything we encounter. We know stories and myths that we believe relate to all of life’s trials and tribulations. This is Level 2. We have our roadmap, born of thousands of years of the memes our mind carries striving to make copies of themselves.
Each of us has a purpose here. When the memes are quiet, it is possible to feel when we are on purpose and when we are off purpose.
Once we realize that there are millions of memes battling inside our mind, there arises the possibility of influencing the outcome of that battle. Until we realize it, there is no possibility.
The battle can be influenced in three ways. First, by noticing the memes. Second, by detaching from them. Third, by obtaining clarity of purpose.
When these three steps are achieved, we can begin to select our memes consciously. We select memes that keep us on purpose. This is Level 3.
A purpose is not a goal. A purpose does not feel like guilt, shame, or vengeance. Guilt, shame, and vengeance are emotions used by memes to gain mastery over your life. By choosing memes consciously, we can eliminate the control that memes have over those emotions.
A purpose feels fulfilling, satisfying, joyful, and powerful.
A purpose has to do with other people. A purpose is fulfilled by spreading memes. Every time we speak, write, create, or act we are spreading memes. To fulfill our purpose we must be conscious of which memes we are spreading.
Life is largely composed of conversations. Conversations are composed of memes. In Level 1 we are unaware of this. In Level 2 we see the world as a solid, understandable body to be interacted with. In Level 3 we see the world as a canvas to be painted, an instrument to be played, or a block of marble to be sculpted by us for our purpose. We choose to do this for good or for evil. If we choose good, good is returned to us in unexpected ways. If we choose evil, evil is returned. Either way, it looks like the way we choose is the way of the world.
In Level 1, we do not understand the world and consequently fear it. In Level 2, we replace the fear with understanding. The price of understanding is limits. Our approximate models of the universe are never completely accurate, never useful in all situations.
In Level 3, we start with a vision of what we want to create. From there we choose our models. Sometimes a chosen model may seem insane to the other inhabitants of the little patch of space-time we happen to occupy. No matter. Men with a vision of goodwill have often looked insane in times of mistrust and scarcity. But in Level 3, we realize that the universe is not a maze to be navigated; it is a baby to be brought up. When we give it love, clarity, and opportunity, we raise a child to be a joyful, giving, successful adult. This is the opportunity we have to farm our little patch of space-time.
June 1999
The Communication Model
One of the “ground rules” Randy Revell uses in the 21st Century Leadership course is to follow a “communications model” whenever appropriate during the course. I actually extend this past the course to any conversation where misunderstanding is a danger. I am most conscious of using this mode when I disagree with someone’s points of view.
Here is the model:
Perceptions. Much confusion results from blurring the line between perceptions and interpretations. No one can disagree with the fact that I have certain perceptions. For example: I notice you use the word “jerk.” I see you’re wearing a red shirt. I smell the perfume that you’re wearing. I hear you pausing several seconds before replying to me. These are all perceptions, very close to the source of my data about reality, made through the use of my five senses.Interpretation or judgment. This is what I personally am imagining is true based on the data from my perceptions. I do not present it as The Truth. Instead, I own it as my personal interpretation. For example: I judge that you are angry. I think you aren’t paying attention to what I’m saying. I think you look fat in those pants. These are all interpretations, not perceptions and not The Truth.Feelings. Do you feel happy, sad, closer, more distant, angry, afraid? It’s common for the casual English speaker to confuse thoughts with feelings. Any time you say “I feel that…” you are likely about to communicate a thought, not a feeling. Avoid using “I feel” to communicate thoughts. Use “I think,” “I judge,” “I believe,” or even “the story I make up around that is…” (since that’s really what you’re doing anyway).Intention. What, if any, change do I intend to create as a result of this? Much of the time, my intention is to vindicate my own point of view rather than to help you in any way. If this is true, be honest about it. Much of the time, my intention is to sell you on my point of view about you. If this is true, I consider my deeper intention. Is it to promote growth and learning, or simply so I can be right about my point of view? If there is no intent to help, abandon the communication.
If you’re having difficulty with the difference between perception and interpretation, bear in mind that all the right/wrong, good/bad emotion stems from the interpretation. One great exercise to try is this: make up several different interpretations that all fit the data you perceive. Make up interpretations, all based on the same event or data, that result in your feeling:
- angry
- sad
- righteous indignation
- surprised
- delighted
- bursting with hysterical laughter
You may soon realize that your feelings are a result of the positions you take, not the events that happen.
October 1999
Feedback
I woke up clutching at the hotel comforter, freezing. It was much too cold in the room, so cold that I was reluctant even to consider prancing barefoot to the far wall to turn up the thermostat. Why was it so cold?
In my haste to cool the room off the previous night, I had turned the thermostat all the way down, not trusting its built-in feedback mechanism. A thermostat works by warming or cooling the room a little bit then checking for feedback. It measures the new room temperature against the desired temperature and corrects the temperature based on that feedback. Temperature controls without feedback mechanisms, like the ones in most automobiles, are far less accurate and require constant tweaking by the user.
Likewise, I can be much more effective in the way I interact with the world if I learn how to use feedback. Useful feedback consists of accurate data in how I effect those around me. Most people like to give advice rather than feedback. Advice is less useful in most cases, because it goes through a level of interpretation and filtering through someone else’s worldview and agenda before it gets to me. The kind of feedback that is most useful is the raw perceptions, interpretations, and feelings directly experienced by a person.
“When you asked for my help in reviewing your book, I felt excited and honored, and a little bit nervous. I had the thought that I might not be up to the challenge, but I was definitely motivated to help.” That’s good feedback. Assuming it’s accurate, I know that the way I asked for help produced motivation and good feelings but a bit of self-doubt. This is a common way that people respond to me. I know that from many years of asking for feedback.
“Just a word of advice, Richard. You might not want to single me out in public as being someone who would be good at helping, because other people might feel slighted.” This is not very useful feedback, because it is not firsthand. While it is true that this person had that thought in response to my interaction with them, in general thoughts and fears about how other people might respond are inaccurate and tend to reflect self-limiting beliefs on the part of the giver of this advice. If I’m really concerned, though, I can check this out with others to see if the second-hand fear is accurate. Usually it is not.
Sometimes I do want advice. I only take advice from people with lives I like. Most people, if they take advice, take it from people they like or people like them. I take the position that taking advice will make my life more like the life of the advice-giver. So I take financial advice from people who are richer than me (not some self-appointed “financial advisor”), relationship advice from men who are happy and fulfilled in their relationships (not Dr. Laura), advice on public speaking from successful public speakers (not self-appointed “speaking coaches”), and so on.
Finally, when giving feedback, it’s great to use the Communication Model. That separates out raw perceptions, interpretations, and feelings, making the feedback more accurate and easier to receive. Always use “I” and talk about yourself. Don’t attempt to philosophize and generalize that all human beings are the way you are. They aren’t. Thank God.
October 1999
Something’s Wrong
A baby has no memes at all, let alone memes about right and wrong. One day, though, as the baby blithely goes through life, learning names and labels, strategies and associations, suddenly comes the idea that Something’s Wrong. The idea that Something’s Wrong forms the cornerstone of the baby’s Level-2 worldview. For only when Something’s Wrong can there be a solution.
As the baby grows to become an adult, much progress is a result of identifying that Something’s Wrong and finding a solution. The baby falls in love with the idea that Something’s Wrong and forgets that it’s just a meme.
The adult, with hardened Level-2 worldview, finds that the world finally makes sense. Ideas that fit into this worldview are Right. Those that do not fit are Wrong. Things that do not fit into this worldview do not exist. This adult’s experience of life, no matter how good things are going, is always tempered by the deep, deep knowledge that Something’s Wrong.
When the baby realized that Something’s Wrong, that meme became an important facet of the baby’s lens of life. That particular way in which Something’s Wrong became a general pattern. The same kind of Something’s Wrong occurred over and over again throughout childhood and adulthood. No matter how many times Something’s Wrong was fixed, the same sort of Something became Wrong again and again and again.
The Level-2 adult often thinks that true fulfillment is on the other side of fixing Something’s Wrong. It never is. A Level-2 adult is at about the same level of happiness throughout life. Fixing Something’s Wrong never creates fulfillment because Something’s Wrong is a cornerstone of the Level-2 worldview. As soon as one Something’s Wrong is fixed, the lens of the Level-2 worldview finds some other situation that fits the pattern and once again Something’s Wrong.
Because Something’s Wrong, though, the Level-2 adult becomes very good at compensating for this perceived failing in the world. Early in life, the child develops a strength that helps fix Something’s Wrong. This strength is an opportunity that serves the adult well throughout life, but still does not produce happiness by itself.
The fear of losing one’s worldview is the biggest barrier to attaining Level 3. Yet only by losing one’s Level-2 worldview can one make progress beyond Something’s Wrong. Only by clarifying one’s life purpose can one find something bigger and better than fixing Something’s Wrong. This meme, the cornerstone of the adult’s Level-2 worldview, will never go away. Only by attaining Level-3 can the adult break the cycle of fixing Something’s Wrong.
October 1999
Status, Elitism, and Making a Difference
I used to drive a jet-black BMW convertible. When I floored it, tearing around corners and up hills, finally rolling to a stop in my garage, I could smell the hot oil of the finely tuned engine. It was a pleasure to drive that car.
Cars like that are often considered a status symbol. There’s a memetic backlash against status symbols these days. People say such things “shouldn’t” be important. When there’s a heavy “shouldn’t” around some behavior, it usually means there’s a real Level-1 drive to do that very behavior. A Level-2 worldview sets up the “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” to keep the Level-1 drives in check. This results in civilized society, but the loss of the feelings of fulfillment and happiness that meeting the Level-1 drive brings.
In Level 3, I recognize my own driving needs and find constructive ways to meet them rather than trying to suppress them. Suppressing them leads to stress and ineffectiveness because so much of my unconscious mind is taken up trying to meet these suppressed needs. In the best case, that dissonance will produce something useful like humor or creative expression, but more often the conscious suppression of driving Level-1 needs will lead to the unconscious mind finding destructive ways to meet those needs.
People derive fulfillment from rising in a perceived status hierarchy. Tests have actually been done showing that serotonin levels in the brain rise dramatically after a status-enhancing event such as being elected president of a fraternity. Serotonin is linked with feelings of self-esteem.
It does no good to pretend that an experience is not important to me when it really is. Desiring the experience of being high in a status hierarchy is often thought of as elitism. “Elitism” is a peer-pressure meme that has the effect of keeping people from having fulfillment in their lives if they buy into it. If I acknowledge that I enjoy rising in status, then I have control over how I get that experience.
I’ve met my need for rising status in some very constructive ways. When I was a boy, I was driven to achieve all the Cub Scout merit badges very quickly, which resulted in my learning some useful things as well as rising in status among my peers. I’m driven to make my books best sellers, which results in getting my message out to more people and making more money as well as seeing my ranking in Amazon.com rise. Intellectually, getting my message out and making money are more important than the ranking number. But because I understand and accept that rising in rank is an emotional drive for me, I have the power to hook that drive up to activities I decide are useful.
I also meet my need for rising status in some destructive ways, almost like a drug addiction. For instance, I play spades on the Internet at www.mplayer.com from time to time. Mplayer assigns a rank icon next to your name based on how much you win or lose. You start out as a blank, then become a heart. Better than a heart is a spade, and above that is a jack. Jacks are considered very good players. It’s very difficult to get to the next rank, queen, then above that is king, and ace is the top. When I go unconscious, I feel driven to improve my rank and can spend hours playing spades rather than doing what I say is most important to me. But rather than whipping myself, telling myself I “shouldn’t” want to play spades, it works better for me to identify the need being met and consciously hook it up to a more useful activity such as writing my next book, imagining the status that comes with rising from the rank of “published author” to that of “well-known author.”
Sometimes we decide that our own personal fulfillment should take a back seat to the difference we can make in the world. This is always a trap. I am nourished and motivated by meeting my Level-1 needs. Denying them is counterproductive. What works is to identify them and find a way to meet them en route to making that difference.
October 1999
Watching or Playing?
It’s the bottom of the ninth. The score is tied. The count is full. The pitcher goes into the windup, delivers, and—crack! The batter hits a long fly ball all the way to the fence. The center fielder pumps his legs just as fast as he can make them, times his leap, reaches out to intercept the ball as it is about to clear the fence—
Watching can be fun. Whether or not you’re a sports fan, we all have our favorite spectator sports. Television news, surfing the Internet, people watching at the mall. There are enough interesting things going on that I could easily fill my life up with watching them happen. Most people do. There’s a certain enjoyment in the moment of being a spectator.
At Level 3, I am clear about my life purpose and seek to express it as often as possible in a way that creates value. Most of the time, that will require me to be a player, not a spectator. The value in a baseball game is being created by the pitcher, the center fielder, the umpire, even the hot-dog vendor—rarely by the spectator. The value in television news is being created by the producer, the reporter, the anchor—rarely by the spectator. Many people live their lives as if the world would come crumbling down if they were not personally aware of all the goings-on in the world, as reported by CNN. It won’t.
As with all drugs of the mind, there is a certain short-term pleasure in spectator sports,. This short-term pleasure serves to distract us from the fact that we’re not on purpose. Like all drugs, these pastimes hook us by giving us a high level of initial enjoyment. Later, the enjoyment tapers off, but we keep watching, habituated, forgetting that we aren’t having fun any more.
The same goes for watching television, reading news, viewing pornography—all these provide empty promises to the spectator. We become like the poor “Waldos” in strip clubs, spending their paycheck on Friday nights watching girls undress with no hope of ever being with them in a real way, no hope of ever being more than a spectator.
The antidote to this drug addiction is participation. Find the smallest way to participate that creates value for you, that is on purpose. Dare to have an effect on the universe. Take a stand, interact with another human being, play. Even if you are not yet clear about your life purpose, from participation comes information, and from information can come clarity.
When the ballgame is over, the players, win or lose, can feel the sweat drying over their well-used muscles, can spit out the grit caked on their tongue and know deep inside that tonight they did something other people cared about. The spectators, fumbling to kick-start their brains so that they can hold an unfamiliar semblance of a conversation with their companions, go off in search of their next beer.
October 1999
Life Purpose
People have a lot of conflicting concerns and desires in life. To sort through the confusion it can help to have a clear idea about what’s most important. I call that my life purpose. A life purpose can be viewed from many angles. From one perspective, it’s my contribution to the universe. Looking back from the end of my life, what is it that was most important for me to be doing? How do I make my life more about that than about anything else?
From another perspective, my life purpose is what fulfills my own sense of satisfaction in the moment. This can be different from my long-term judgment about what is most worthwhile, yet it is incredibly important. It’s possible to imagine a world of glum martyrs, all of whom sacrifice their own personal fulfillment for the greater good. But for whose greater good?
I have a faith-based position that it is possible both to fulfill myself in the moment and to contribute to the world. In fact, my contribution to the world involves expressing that core part of myself from which I derive great fulfillment. I express myself in a way that creates value for others.
I envision a world of people experiencing great satisfaction in their lives, all clear about what is most important to them and in the process of creating it. For me, if I were to put a label on my life purpose, it would be “special agent for progress.” Everything I do is about progress, both for myself and for others. The advance of technology lights me up like a little kid. I just love new gadgets. Even more, I love seeing and helping people grow in their own consciousness. And the more I feel special—like I really make a difference—the more energy I have to contribute.
Self-sacrifice is the biggest mistake people make in living their life purpose. It doesn’t work long term. Find a purpose that you love, and the world will ultimately be happy you did. That doesn’t mean that all your feedback will be positive. On the contrary, getting flak is a sure sign that you’re making a difference. If I’m fitting quietly in, the chances are very small that I’m really on purpose. People who are on purpose shine with an unmistakable light. Discover your light. Uncover your light. The more truly you express yourself, the bigger difference you make. If I express myself truly, with the constant intention to add value, not to destroy it, I have found my life purpose.
November 1999
Love and Work
It’s a cold, rainy day. Winter in Seattle is a wet, dark season. Nothing good is on TV and there are no interesting emails in my inbox. What determines if I’m going to have a good day?
Accountability is taking the position that the results in my life come from my own choices, conscious or unconscious. This may or may not be True, but I’ve found that hosting this meme makes my life work better and leads to my feeling better than the alternative. When I take on the position of accountability, I give up the option of blaming the weather, the TV, and other people for my quality of life. I realize that “if it’s to be, it’s up to me.”
Over the years I’ve learned more and more about what it means to be truly accountable. In particular, I’ve learned that looking for someone else to fulfill my emotional needs is always a trap. It is a “victim” position. But I do have emotional needs, and it’s difficult to fill them sitting by myself in isolation. How do I reconcile this?
Freud said that man has two basic needs: work and love. Maslow said that we all have several levels of needs, from basic survival all the way up to self-actualization. In Level 3 we recognize the basic importance of living a life purpose. All of these statements are subject to the standard of accountability. Am I a victim of not being clear about my life purpose? “Oh, if I were only clear about it, then I could be fulfilled.” In Maslow’s hierarchy, I could get trapped by thinking, “Oh, If only I could get my relationship needs met, then I could be self-actualized.” Following Freud’s advice, the trap could be, “I work hard, but oh, if only I could be loved.”
The trap is thinking that the solution to any of these problems lies outside of me.
My need for love is not filled by finding someone to love me. It is filled by me when I give love. The more I look for loving, giving role models in my life, the happier I am. I create the experience of love by giving it, not by getting it.
My life’s work is about doing, not about the quest for greater clarity. As an adult, it shouldn’t take more than five or 10 percent of my time to stay completely clear about my life purpose and to do all the learning I need to do to make my life work. Once I have even an inkling of my direction, it’s “ready, fire, aim, fire.” Further clarity is only gained by doing.
Yesterday I went running in the rain. It was pitch dark, coming down in thick cold glops, and there were big puddles all along the way. But all the discomfort, all the unhappiness, was about imagining how uncomfortable it would be. I put on my waterproof gear and just did it. Once I was going I barely noticed the rain.
November 1999
The Restaurant at the End of Your Life
One of the cornerstones of Level-3 living is having a life purpose. My life purpose is the most important priority in my life. I can and do have other priorities, so in order to accomplish them and be true to myself I need to arrange my life so that I do them at the same time as I am living my life purpose.
Suppose you’re driving down an unfamiliar highway. In the car with you are the people closest to you. It’s getting late, and you have a long way to go, and you’re getting hungry. You need to choose a restaurant to stop and have dinner, but you don’t know what lies ahead. You keep passing restaurants, but none of them clearly jumps out at you as the place to eat. You want to stop someplace decent, maybe even the best place possible. How do you decide?
There is actually a mathematical formula for maximizing your chance of eating at the best restaurant. If you estimate the total number of restaurants on the road and divide by e (approximately 2.7), then that is the number of restaurants you should check out before stopping at the next one that’s better than any of those. But for this to work, you have to really examine all those first few restaurants. For instance, if you estimate 81 restaurants on the highway ahead, you really need to examine those first 30 to give you an informed choice over the final 51.
Suppose you live to be 81. The more fully you participate in those first 30 years of life, the more apparent your life purpose will become when you decide to uncover it. My life purpose is like a Zagat Guide to the restaurants of life. It’s a guide that only applies to me. If I’m unclear about my life purpose, the only way to discover it is by playing hard—fully immersing myself in the parts of life that attract me. Playing it safe and being a spectator are just ways of marking time, of passing restaurants without gaining either food or knowledge.
A life purpose is not a mission. It is a direction, a priority. It pertains more to life’s quality than to the quantity of my accomplishments, yet by being clear about my life purpose I will leave a trail of accomplishment that I am proud of. A life purpose is not a statement of the way I desire to contribute to the world. It is my contribution to the world. By expressing myself fully, I fulfill my place in the world to the betterment of all those who come in contact with me. But their betterment is not my purpose.
Living my life purpose is easy. It requires courage because I must face guilt (an emotion that indicates I am going against my cultural indoctrination about how I should be) and resentment (likewise, an emotion indicative of a violation of cultural programming regarding how others ought to be). It requires consciousness to maintain focus in the face of life’s attractive nuisances such as TV, power games, and spectator sports. But it’s easy. There’s no will power involved in living my life purpose. When I’m doing it, it feels good and right. I could do it for hours and days on end and never get tired.
Saying I don’t have a life purpose is like saying I’m not going to stop at a restaurant and eat. At the end, I’ll be hungry, frustrated, and more confused than ever. Pick a place.
November 1999
Ordering off the Menu
I used to have lunch at the same place every day, so I got quite used to the menu. Sometimes I’d have a chicken Caesar salad. Sometimes I’d have a hamburger. Sometimes I’d have veal parmigiana. I knew the menu well and didn’t even need to look at it any more, although I usually did. Every day they had a special. I’d listen to the description and sometimes order it. It was always a little exciting if the special was something I wanted. It broke up the monotony.
One day one of the guys brought his old college roommate to lunch with us. He was one of those guys you’re immediately suspicious of because he looks happy all the time. I wasn’t particularly interested to see what he would order, but I saw him give the menu the briefest of glances and put it aside. When the waitress came, she took several orders, then came around to this man.
“Can you make me some fish, grilled in a little olive oil, with no sauce?” “We have swordfish,” the waitress said. “That will be great. And I’d like a big plate of asparagus too.” “We don’t have asparagus. How about green beans?” “Great.”
So I ate my hamburger and watched this guy, beaming, eating his fish grilled in a little olive oil, and I thought, “What gives him the right to think he can order anything he wants to when the rest of us have to order off the menu?”
The guy never came back, but one day I had a thought. Chicken parmigiana wasn’t on the menu, but veal was. I knew they had chicken because of the chicken Caesar salad. I drew in my breath. When the waitress got around to me, I glanced briefly at the menu and said, “Can you make me a chicken parmigiana?” “No problem.”
When the food came, I sat there, beaming, eating my chicken parmigiana. It tasted even better because it was mine. Next time I’ll order a plate of asparagus too.
December 1999
Have to, Want To
At my best, I go running most every day. Sometimes, before I run, I feel full of energy, muscles ready to feel stretched and used, eager to get out there and smell the sea and grass and run. Other days I feel reluctant, dragging, comfortable sitting in my apartment, full of inertia. I go anyway, because I’ve learned that how I feel about the prospect of doing something has little relation to how I will feel doing it, how I will feel afterwards, and especially to how valuable the activity is to me. “Just do it,” right?
As I ran yesterday, I had the thought that, like Emerson, I would really like it to be true that my life ought to be lived for its own sake and not require diet and exercise. Well it ought to be true. Unfortunately it isn’t. There are certain activities in life that, while prospectively unpleasant, tangibly improve my prospects for the future. Running, dieting, and paying my bills are among these. I don’t feel like I “want to” do them at the time. I feel like I “have to.” How do I eliminate the “have to” from my life?
One of my strong faith-based positions is that I always have a choice. Do I have to pay my bills? No way! It’s just that I choose to pay them rather than face the consequences: finance charges, dunning letters and phone calls, damaged reputation and so on. Years ago I realized that I was choosing to pay my bills and decided to make it as fun as possible. I love games, new technology, and progress. So when I sit down to pay my bills I look at it as a game to get through a stack of paper as efficiently as possible. It’s like shooting Space Invaders. I have the latest in check-paying software, Web-based investment management, and a direct DSL Internet connection. I make it fun. I make it a choice.
I believe that by changing my point of view about anything I can turn it from a Have-to into a Want-to. The trick is in knowing my life purpose and in taking a position that makes this activity on-purpose for me rather than counter-purpose. (If the activity is truly counter to my life purpose, I shouldn’t be doing it.) It’s not enough for me to enjoy the moment now. I want to build for the future. The balancing act is finding a way to enjoy life while building for the future.
December 1999
Programming Myself
Jeffrey Gitomer, the world’s greatest salesman, used to worry so much about getting the big sale that it interfered with his confidence. Prospects could sniff out his nervousness and detect that something was not quite right. The fear of losing the sale would actually result in the loss of a sale. And once this cycle happened a few times he became reluctant even to try, resulting in even more lost sales. He had to change his way of being or find a new career, and that meant working at a real job so that was out.
Jeffrey wanted to find a way to reprogram himself not to care if he won or lost. So each time he made the big sale, he would take himself out to an expensive men’s clothing store and reward himself with some new clothes. And each time he didn’t make the big sale, he would also take himself out to an expensive store and buy clothes. For a year he faked it but after that he really didn’t care if he made or lost the big sale. He had successfully used operant conditioning, a la Pavlov’s dog, to make trying for the sale the rewarded activity and not getting the sale. Through added confidence and sheer numbers this resulted in his becoming a successful super-salesman. And having six closets full of clothes.
The mind is programmed through repetition. Combining repetition with reward is a great way to change my mind. Unlike a computer, which can be reprogrammed simply by making a change once and compiling new code, a human mind needs training. It is possible to change my mind. That is the core belief that makes everything else possible. If I had trouble with that one I would say it every morning in front of the mirror (right along with “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and, doggone it…”). I change my mind by identifying the unworkable beliefs I have—beliefs that interfere with my purpose—and replacing them with workable ones. There may be a whole network of unworkable positions preventing me from going in the direction I say I want to go. I can address them one by one or I can simply identify the way of being that is ineffective and train myself to be another way.
I used to pout when someone said something that rubbed me the wrong way. I would guess that it was an effective way of being with my parents when I was growing up. But in a seminar many years ago I got feedback that people thought it was irritating and incongruous with the powerful way I otherwise presented myself. So I put into practice a new way of being. Whenever I noticed myself about to pout, instead I beamed a genuine, charming smile. It didn’t feel so genuine the first few times but after less than a month I had successfully reprogrammed myself. The awkward discomfort only lasts a little while, like when I learned to ride a bicycle. Soon thereafter I knew what I was doing, and within a year I didn’t even have to think about it.
February 2000
Tolerance and Diversity
One of the politically correct words that it’s in vogue to be in favor of these days is tolerance. But it’s a pernicious meme and a hypocritical one in may cases. To be really in favor of tolerance, you would have to tolerate all kinds of beliefs: racism, big government, prohibition, and or course intolerance. No, when people say they are in favor of tolerance they usually mean that they are against other people imposing their beliefs on them and that they’re willing to do the same in a limited way in return. I say in a “limited” way because it is the rare tolerant person who will stand by and not give an intolerant one a lecture on tolerance, or at least mumble something to passers-by after the offender has departed.
This passive-aggressive stance of tolerance stems from an unwillingness to take a stand. I believe there are certain memes that deserve spreading throughout society. One of them is consciousness, and I take every chance to impose that belief on others through my writing and speaking. Another is opportunity, which I spread in a similar way. A third is technological progress, which results in a better life for us all if not deterred by irrational fears. Through clarity of purpose, I am willing to take a stand for these things.
Sometimes people know what they stand against, but not what they stand for. This is a position of weakness because standing against a thing requires the continued existence of that thing. It also eliminates the possibility of finding a happy partnership with someone who stands for that which you are against. No, the power is in taking strong stands for, in alignment with my purpose. Imagine a world full of people standing for different things, all able to find ways to work together to make all their visions come true. It works so much better than a world full of people standing against the cherished beliefs of one another.
Finally, a word on diversity. It has been said that diversity is a hallmark of a healthy ecosystem and that we ought to welcome all views so as to create a healthy memetic environment. In my eye, diversity is not a cause of health but an effect. A well-balanced ecosystem with plenty of natural resources has a wealth of species all wanting to get a piece of the action. Does that mean we should tolerate mosquitoes, cockroaches, and parasites living in our houses?
There are plenty of views that need not be tolerated. But what works is to take a stand for. A major shift in public health in ancient Rome was the change in emphasis from fighting disease to improving public hygiene. A stand for clean water saved more lives than any stand against disease could possibly have saved. Likewise, stands against religion, stupidity, racism, and so on are all less effective than stands for conscious living, education, empowerment—you name it! At Level 3 we have the ability to choose practical and effective memes, not only for ourselves, but to spread throughout the world.
February 2000
The Illusion of Progress
I was hurrying through the airport, wheeling my baggage behind me and racing between terminals to make my connection. The airport was full of people doing the same thing. I came upon one of those moving walkways designed to make distances a little shorter. The walkways generally have a rule: walk on the left, stand on the right. Frequent travelers know the score but the grandparents making their annual visits, the college students on Spring break, the foreign tourists coming to America for the first time sometimes need to be instructed. As I weaved my way through them I started to think about why people stand on the moving walkway instead of continuing to walk. It has to do with the illusion of progress.
As I stand unthinking on the conveyor belt I feel like I’m moving forward. I would never just stop and stand still in the middle of the airport because I would feel like I wasn’t going anywhere—even though it would take me exactly the same amount of time to get where I’m going if I walked on the conveyor belt and stood still in the middle of the airport for 30 seconds. But on the conveyor belt I have the illusion of progress.
When I get a raise in salary every year I have the illusion of progress—even if that money does nothing more than buy the same goods it did last year at inflated prices. But it’s really standing still on the moving walkway. Real progress only exists when I am clear about my goals and have tangible ways to measure my progress in that direction.
The Level-3 player will be playing with a lot of people standing still on the moving walkway. It’s easy to take their standing still as evidence that standing still is OK, and even easier to interpret passing them as evidence that real progress is being made. But I am the only one who can judge my own progress, my own success at living my life purpose. I’m the only one who knows what gate my plane is departing from because I’m the only one who gets to decide where I’m going.
April 2000
Faith and Rational Empiricism
Frazer posted a nice email to the Level-3 list in which he described how worldviews are formed by piecing together evidence. The exception, he said, was the insane religious fanatics who made their worldview from something called “faith.” Faith is a charged word among rational empiricists, who see it as counter to everything they stand for.
How then does someone graduate from the Level-2 worldview of rational empiricism to Level 3, in which other worldviews must be employed besides the one that seems to be so logical and inevitable? I would say, in fact, that careful use of faith is essential to operating at Level 3. (I’d say further that rational empiricists have plenty of faith-based positions which they are blind to.) One method would be to apply that rational empiricism to the workings of the mind itself, looking at it as a data-processing engine driven by memes.
We are already choosing ways to look at the world based on evidence. This is the essence of rational empiricism: believing what seems by the preponderance of evidence to be true. To apply this methodology to Level 3, we must take a step back and examine the cause and effect of self-programming with certain memes. To a large degree, self-programming with “true” memes produces excellent results. But there are notable exceptions. Cancer patients have been documented to respond better when they harbor certain “faith-based” beliefs, such as the belief that they have control over their cancer. Football players and soldiers perform better when they adopt the faith-based belief that they are destined to win. Experience with thousands of students has taught me that adopting beliefs such as personal accountability—that the results in my life are caused by the choices I make—causes vastly increased personal success and empowerment.
So the empiricism—always done with an implicit eye toward pragmatism—becomes not about what one model of the world is true, but about what memetic self-programming truly produces the desired results. This is the key that unlocks the doorway of Level 3.
So, then, how do I find these elusive memes that, while not necessarily “true,” yield results that I want in my life? Use the scientific method of observation. Look around for people who seem to have what you want more of. What are their beliefs and behaviors? How do they look at the world? How do they respond in certain situations? Through this process it is possible to take a good crack at ferreting out the relevant memes. Then the hard part becomes trying them on for myself. For quite awhile it just “doesn’t feel like me” to be using this foreign programming. But with perseverance, that feeling goes away, replaced by the same comfort we had before, but more power and success. It’s a rocky, uphill road to Level 3, but what else is there to do?
February 2000